The Jar Jar Hate Newsletter - Issue #1 Wassup?! This is the first issue of this exciting new Newsletter whose purpose is to increase hatred and create awareness of hatred toward the putrescent Jar Jar Binks. There is no structured schedule to when this Newsletter will be release. I find it better this way because it avoids having to have issues when nothing's going on and not having one when something is. First off I'd like to wish everyone a happy Canada Day. I hope you enjoy your day off although if you're in high school you're off for good and I hate you for that. To our American subscribers that make up about 75% of the audience: Happy 4th of July. We get our holiday 3 days before you. Suckers! IN THIS ISSUE: - Jar Jar's back for episode II? : Is Jar Jar Binks likely to have a repeat performance? - A Jar Jar Binks Cartoon? Don't believe it : The rumor mill is buzzing with word of Jar Jar Cartoon. Could there be any truth to this? - A few thoughts on Jar Jar's sexual preference : Is Jar Jar gay? Is he a woman? Why is he so fruity? Why doesn't he flinch when kicked in the crotch? - - - - - - - - - - - - JAR JAR'S BACK FOR EPISODE II? - - - - - - - - - - - - So you've heard that Jar Jar's gonna be in Episode II eh? I wouldn't bet on it. Many people are claming that they know that George Lucas said that Jar Jar would be in Episode II. I call these people idiots. George Lucas hasn't written the script for the second movie yet. He did this because he wanted to see how the characters went over with the public before deciding which ones would be included in the second movie. I'd say the Jar Jar went over pretty badly. Considering how unimportant he is to the overall plot I don't see why he'd return. He's really quite specific to Naboo and the Gungans. Once the movies start distancing themselves from his home planet I don't think that they'll bother taking him with him. It was Qui-Gon who decided to bring him along. Obiwan obviously wasn't wild about him. When they take Anakin aboard he says, "Why do I have the feeling we've just picked up another pathetic life form". Obviously this is in reference to Jar Jar being the first. Why would Obiwan want to lug him around the universe? R2 doesn't care much for him. C3PO, hoping he'll be back, doesn't seem to like him. Amidala seems to tolerate him at best but I think she'd want him to stay on Naboo. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A JAR JAR BINKS CARTOON? DON'T BELIEVE IT - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I've gotten a lot of e-mails about this. People saying "Oh dear god no! They're making a Jar Jar cartoon!" So I checked out this link http://www.aint-it-cool-news.com/display.cgi?id=3732 Now that's one rumor that isn't backed up by any proof. It looks pretty official but that's about it. It basically says that in this new cartoon Jar Jar takes Anakin's place and becomes a Pod Racer. Think about it for a second. Why would Jar Jar, native to Naboo, go to Tatooine? He had little to no contact with Anakin in the whole movie. Here's my biggest problem though. Jar Jar is the clumsiest creature in the entire universe. He would crash that Pod as quickly as he offended unsuspecting viewers. He spends about 30 seconds around that Pod in the movie and he gets his face caught in the engine and nearly got his hand chopped off. Next time try to make up a slightly more believable lie. If there is ever a Jar Jar Cartoon I'll eat a box of Donuts. Not the donuts, the box they come in. If the story is actually Jar Jar racing Pods, I'll eat at Denny's... No I can't do that. I'll just eat a dirty boot. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - A FEW THOUGHTS ON JAR JAR'S SEXUAL PREFERENCE - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ever since the very beginning, and by the beginning I mean the day the Phantom Menace was released in theatres, Jar Jar Binks' sexual preference has been put into question by many. The loudest voice probably being that of the WebMaster of the Jar Jar is Gay! WebSite (http://jarjar.webjump.com/). The most obvious thing that makes people think he's gay is that he's just downright fruity but it doesn't stop there. Think about it for a second. How many female Gungans did you see in Otah Gunga? Not one! Are they all gay then? Do female Gungans just look manish? Maybe Jar Jar's a woman. When Jar Jar gets kicked in the crotch by a Pit Droid he doesn't seems to be hurt that badly. I don't think he's got the baggage to feel it. Maybe he is a woman, maybe Gungans reproduce asexually or maybe he's simply a eunuch. I know what you're thinking. I wish I could voice my opinion on the subject. You can! There's now a poll on the Jar Jar Hate Page where you can vote on one or many of these theories. You could also post more elaborate thoughts on the Jar Jar Hate Message Board. [] If you have any comments or suggestions or if you would like to write material for the Jar Jar Hate Newsletter please drop me a line @ zz@canada.com Keep visiting the Jar Jar Hate Page @ http://jarjar.iscool.net/ The most recent updates are a new frames layout and the new Poll about Jar Jar's sexual preference. There are currently 30 Hate Links and more added every week as well as a large amount of Hate Art send in by other fans which is updated regularly. The Message Board and Hate Club are always full of people so come back often and you won't get bored. Did you enjoy this Newsletter? Then spread the word! Tell your friends to sign up too. They'll thank you for it. 'Till next time. Fight the Power and Stick it to the Man. Keep spreading the hate! Adam